Book Signing - my day

Yesterday I spent an hour in Waterstones, Oxford Street signing books. Had to leave when security asked why I was defacing the stock. Oh well, that's the power of a uniform, baton and angry Alsation. It made me think about protecting your business. Do you know who is attacking your business from outside? From inside? Yes there are people who 'quit and stay', who switch off and do the minimum work within your company. They should really leave to let you get someone in place who actually wants to work. That's where my 'make them leave' program comes in, making life intolerable for staff so that they leave. No need to sack anyone ever again, no redundancy payments, just better staff! Read my book for more details on how to transform your workforce. See advertisement this page!!!

Who am I? What am I? - I am Alec Wonder

“An enigma cloaked in a puzzle wrapped in a crossword” – my Analyst.

Who am I? Many have asked, some have tried to define me, most have failed. I am an enigma (which strangely is an anagram of ‘meaning’ – but with an ‘n’ missing). I go where others fear to tread, I see success hiding in failure, I see things others miss, I hear voices others ignore, where others fail to smell the scent of opportunity I smell strongly.

Yes I am a guru to many, a simple consultant to others, a business disciple preaching the words of the business gods and yet a heretic sacrificing many virgin ideas on the altar of innovation. I stand on the shoulders of giants, the heads of geniuses, and the toes of employees. I can be as hard as Italian marble, as heady as Italian wine, soft and pretentious as my Italian shoes – but I’m not actually Italian. I am not attracted to money and yet money is attracted to me. I am the fridge for magnetic ideas. I am the woolly bit of Velcro to businesses’ prickly half, I’ll stay stuck to you until you’re ripped off. I suck up the world’s best business skills like a giant vacuum, sort out the gems from the fluff and crumbs, and then set these gems into a business like a jeweller sets a diamond into a ring. I make a business sparkle.

I am modest, well educated (in fact I have two MBAs). I am the spark that ignites the gas industry, the whistle that sets public transport on the right tracks, the small deposit that accumulates into banking success, the smell in the finest perfume, I am the sprightly monkey in the corporate tree, the truffle pig of new ideas, the grease on the wheels of industry. I am Alec Wonder.